Partnering with your teen: what parents need to know about age representation and online safety
Dr Ann-Louise Lockhart
21 April 2025
As a paediatric psychologist, parent coach and mum of two, I know first hand how complicated it can feel to keep up with what our teens are doing online. We want them to have age-appropriate experiences, freedom to explore and protection from risks – all at the same time. It's a delicate balance, but the good news is that we don't do this on our own. Meta continuously updates its tools to create safer digital spaces for teens, and parents play a key role in that process. Here's what you need to know about these updates and how you can talk to your teen about why age verification matters – without it feeling like a lecture.
Encouraging openness vs secrecy
I get it. When I was a teenager, I kept things from my mum because I feared judgment or punishment. I don't want that same dynamic with my own teens. That's why I work hard to create an environment where they feel comfortable coming to me – even about tricky topics such as social media, privacy and online safety.
For example, when my teen wanted to sign up for a new app, we sat down and looked at the settings together. I let them take the lead in adjusting privacy controls and explaining how they planned to use the app. Instead of making rules without input, I asked, "What do you think are the biggest risks? How can we make sure that you're protected?" This shifted the conversation from "Mum is controlling my life" to "We're in this together".
Why age matters
Teen years are full of growth and change. One day, they're watching animated films, and the next, they're debating social issues online. Digital spaces should reflect that evolving maturity – offering access to content, features and interactions that match their age and stage of development.
Meta has age assurance measures designed to:
- Protect younger users from content not meant for their age group.
- Ensure that teens get an experience tailored for their age, with the right privacy settings and safeguards.
- Help parents stay informed about their teen's digital interactions without overstepping their independence.
But here's the challenge: Teens might not see the big deal in being asked for their age. They might feel like it's just another roadblock, or worse, assume that their parents don't trust them. That's why how we frame the conversation matters.
How to talk to your teen about providing their real age
We've all been there – trying to talk to our teen about something important, only to be met with eye rolls, sighs or "I already know, Mum/Dad". To make these conversations smoother, here are a few parenting strategies that work:
1. Lead with empathy, not authority
Instead of starting with, "You have to do this because it's safer," try:
"I know social media is a big part of how you stay connected. I just want to make sure that you're having the best experience possible – one that's actually designed for people your age."
This shifts the focus from rules and control to support and partnership.
2. Make it about their experience
Teens care about fairness and autonomy. You can explain:
"When platforms know your actual age, they can make sure that you're seeing content meant for you. That means fewer weird ads, fewer random strangers trying to follow you and more control over who can message you."
This highlights how age verification benefits them, not just how it protects them.
3. Be open to their perspective
Teens are smart. If they push back with, "But people just lie about their age anyway", acknowledge their point before reinforcing the bigger picture:
"You're right – some people do. But companies like Meta are improving their technologies to catch those who misrepresent their age to keep spaces safer. It's about making social media better for everyone, not just one person."
When teens feel heard, they're more likely to engage rather than shut down
Your role as a parent – without the pressure
You don't need to monitor every click your teen makes. But staying engaged in their digital world – without hovering – goes a long way. Here are a few low-effort ways to stay involved:
- Use Family Centre to explore tools that help you guide and support your teen's online activity.
- Keep conversations ongoing – not just one big "tech talk" but regular check-ins.
- Model positive digital habits by showing them how you navigate social media responsibly.
- Encourage your teen to register for accounts or update their accounts to reflect their true age.
Meta is committed to safer digital spaces, which means we, as parents, don't have to figure it all out alone. By having open conversations and embracing the tools available to us, we can ensure that our teens enjoy a safer, age-appropriate online experience – without making it feel like a burden.
Bio: Dr Ann-Louise Lockhart is a board-certified paediatric psychologist, parent coach and speaker with over 20 years of experience. Dr Lockhart is dedicated to helping overwhelmed parents of tweens and teens shift from conflict to connection. Through practical strategies, compassionate guidance and a focus on open communication, she empowers parents to build stronger relationships with their teens – without the constant battles. Learn more about Dr. Lockhart at www.anewdaysa.com.
Your teen can check or update their date of birth on apps from Meta in just a few steps. Follow the guides below to help them make sure that their age is accurate.
- Tap
Profile or your profile picture in the bottom right to go to your profile.
- Tap
Menu in the top right.
- Tap Accounts Centre, then tap Personal details.
- Tap Birthday or Date of birth, then tap Edit to change your birthday information.
Facebook and Messenger
- Tap your profile picture in the top right of Facebook.
- Tap Settings and privacy, then tap Settings
- Tap Accounts Centre, then tap Personal details.
- Tap Birthday.
- Tap Edit, then change your birthday.
- Tap Save to confirm the change.
Meta Horizon app
- On your phone, open the Meta Horizon app.
- Tap
- Tap Accounts Centre, then tap
Personal details.
- Tap Birthday then tap Edit next to your birthday.
- Edit your birthday, then tap Save.
- Tap Confirm.
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