Partnering with your teen: what parents need to know about age representation and online safety

I get it. When I was a teenager, I kept things from my mom because I feared judgment or punishment. I don’t want that same dynamic with my own teens. That’s why I work hard to create an environment where they feel comfortable coming to me — even about tricky topics like social media, privacy and online safety.

For example, when my teen wanted to sign up for a new app, we sat down and looked at the settings together. I let them take the lead in adjusting privacy controls and explaining how they planned to use the app. Instead of making rules without input, I asked, “What do you think are the biggest risks? How can we make sure you’re protected?” This shifted the conversation from “Mom is controlling my life” to “We’re in this together.”

Teen years are full of growth and change. One day, they’re watching animated movies, and the next, they’re debating social issues online. Digital spaces should reflect that evolving maturity — offering access to content, features and interactions that match their age and stage of development.

Meta has age assurance measures designed to:

• Protect younger users from content not meant for their age group.
• Ensure teens get an experience tailored for their age, with the right privacy settings and safeguards.
• Help parents stay informed about their teen’s digital interactions without overstepping their independence.

But here’s the challenge: Teens might not see the big deal in being asked for their age. They might feel like it’s just another roadblock, or worse, assume their parents don’t trust them. That’s why how we frame the conversation matters.

We’ve all been there — trying to talk to our teen about something important, only to be met with eye rolls, sighs or “I already know, Mom/Dad.” To make these conversations smoother, here are a few parenting strategies that work:

1. Lead with empathy, not authority

   Instead of starting with, "You have to do this because it’s safer," try:

   "I know social media is a big part of how you stay connected. I just want to make sure you’re having the best experience possible — one that’s actually designed for people your age."

   This shifts the focus from rules and control to support and partnership.

2. Make it about their experience

   Teens care about fairness and autonomy. You can explain:

   "When platforms know your actual age, they can make sure you’re seeing content meant for you. That means fewer weird ads, fewer random strangers trying to follow you and more control over who can message you."

   This highlights how age verification benefits them, not just how it protects them.

3. Be open to their perspective

   Teens are smart. If they push back with, "But people just lie about their age anyway," acknowledge their point before reinforcing the bigger picture:

   "You’re right — some people do. But companies like Meta are improving their technologies to catch those who misrepresent their age to keep spaces safer. It’s about making social media better for everyone, not just one person."

   When teens feel heard, they’re more likely to engage rather than shut down.

You don’t need to monitor every click your teen makes. But staying engaged in their digital world — without hovering — goes a long way. Here are a few low-effort ways to stay involved:

• Use Family Center to explore tools that help you guide and support your teen’s online activity.
• Keep conversations ongoing — not just one big "tech talk" but regular check-ins
• Model positive digital habits by showing them how you navigate social media responsibly.
• Encourage your teen to register for accounts or update their accounts to reflect their true age.

Meta is committed to safer digital spaces, which means we, as parents, don’t have to figure it all out alone. By having open conversations and embracing the tools available to us, we can ensure our teens enjoy a safer, age-appropriate online experience — without making it feel like a burden.

Bio: Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart is a board-certified pediatric psychologist, parent coach and speaker with over 20 years of experience. Dr. Lockhart is dedicated to helping overwhelmed parents of tweens and teens shift from conflict to connection. Through practical strategies, compassionate guidance and a focus on open communication, she empowers parents to build stronger relationships with their teens — without the constant battles. Learn more about Dr. Lockhart at www.anewdaysa.com.

Your teen can check or update their date of birth on apps from Meta in just a few steps. Follow the guides below to help them make sure their age is accurate.

1. Tap Profile or your profile picture in the bottom right to go to your profile.
2. Tap Menu in the top right.
3. Tap Accounts Center, then tap Personal details.
4. Tap Birthday or Date of birth, then tap Edit to change your birthday information.

1. Tap your profile picture in the top right of Facebook
2. Tap Settings and privacy, then tap Settings
3. Tap Accounts Center, then tap Personal details.
4. Tap Birthday.
5. Tap Edit, then change your birthday.
6. Tap Save to confirm the change.

1. On your phone, open the Meta Horizon app.
2. Tap Menu at the top of your Horizon Feed.
3. Tap Accounts Center, then tap Personal details.
4. Tap Birthday then tap Edit next to your birthday.
5. Edit your birthday, then tap Save.
6. Tap Confirm